To Control or Not To Control

Best Regards, LIVE THROUGH THIS, 8 Januari 2018
Self control isn’t impossible to tackle, and again, you don’t have to do it alone.

There is one thing that I learned in 2017: self control. It’s something that everyone struggle with. I’m not saying that I’m an expert on this thing, let’s say we are all on the same page. We are all learning about controlling ourselves. The skill of self control will never be outdated. You have to master it each day as you walk from one experience to another. You will learn self control both in easy or hard way.

Luckily, I had it hard. Why I called myself lucky? Shouldn’t it be unfortunate or horrendous or terrifying experience?

I learned that I possessed a bad habit from an experience with a dearest person of mine. After hanging out with me for quite some time, she noticed something was off. I got easily tempered after a while, I started taking control over little things, I got easily upset when plans didn’t go as I expected. I never knew how bad I was at self control, never knew how bad I looked when I got angry. I used to put my ego over everything. I thought I could always win every arguments when every fights we had benefit nobody.

It was like trying to build a house of cards when you’re short on patience. Trying to arrange them with frustration results in failure to make a beautiful stacks of cards. Then you started to blame the cards for not being straight, for being crooked, yet you never realize that the real problem is yourself. Other people have made it to the end, they successfully build them, why can’t you? So is it the cards, or you?

The question is: what kind of person are you? Are you going to be that kind of person who blame everything and everyone else for your failure or evaluating yourself so you can move forward and be a better man? Like arranging the house of cards, everybody can do that, not everybody get the same result by the end. All about self control.

Self control is a choice. It says a lot about who you are as a human being. And the realization turned my perspective around. All my life I thought about life in a wrong, distorted way. But, wait! To have that revelation doesn’t mean you instantly become an expert in controlling yourself. It’s a process that you learn along the way. It’s little steps that you must take everyday. It requires extra energy and time, but it’s worth it.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Good thing is you never have to do it alone. There will be people who love you and care about you, people that want you to be better person, who will be a help in this journey. Personally, I always try to evaluate myself by asking people around me to tell me what I’m lack of. Once you figure out what you need to improve from yourself and work your way to it, it will help you get through life. It will give you new, healthy, perspective. But never assume life will get easier once you know how to self control. Because there will be harder situations and more complicated challenges.

I still lose it, sometimes. And it’s okay, it’s very human. You can’t expect to be perfect for all humans are imperfect. All you gotta do is get back up, learn from mistakes, and move forward. Realizing how much I need to get better in self control was the greatest gift I got in 2017. It gave me new way of seeing life and improve my relationship with other people. One tips from me: always put yourself in other people’s shoes. It helps you understand more and you can give better response. Always ask God for training. Ask God to shape you and be obedient along the journey. Be tough, don’t give up to your temper. You’re the one who controls it, not the other way around.

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

My partner was the one who pointed out my issue and pushed me to be better, and I will always be grateful for her. Self control isn’t impossible to tackle, and again, you don’t have to do it alone. God is full with grace and mercy, and He surely puts people who care about your growth to walk alongside with you as you go through the journey of self control.


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